#the stress is just. getting to me
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i really do need a new job last night i sobbed for like 20 minutes straight after knocking over a bowl with a bit of old soup in it
#the stress is just. getting to me#all the little frustrations and inconveniences and decisions and circumstances have been adding up and like. i have a headache#i don't know what to eat. everyone needs me for something and i love them and i want to do things but im so tired#i never call out or come in late to work and i do what im supposed to do and i don't take lunch breaks because theres no time to#and i still make the same 15/h as everyone else and i still dont buy enough groceries because butter is four dollars a pound now#and whenever i buy meat neither of us can prep it for the freezer before it goes bad. i barely get enough protein anymore#but im alive. yknow. im here and im still in love and i dont live with my parents. sometimes i dream the kitchen i work in gets shut down#and we all get fired and part of me is so relieved#im braver than i think most of the time but i dont wanna be. i wanna be a housecat. i wanna bake lemon bars and roast potatoes
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
#posting my drafts#i want to stress im a taylor swift enjoyer. sorry.#also if someone wants to venmo me for the radfem hate i get daily i need like 60 bucks#someone stole my taylor swift official merch quarter zip :(#the point im specifically making in the tswift paragraphs i hope is clear which is like.#taylor is not threatening their ideas of masculinity or femininity. she is incredibly milquetoast. i mean i love her#but there's nothing about her that challenges the status quo. EXCEPT for her success.#and that's what pisses so many men off: the success.#so if THE VISION of white heteropatriarchy STILL is being treated this way.....#what do you think is happening to minority populations??#i just feel like be annoyed w/her about real things but being weird about her dating someone is like#soooooooooooooooooooooo fucking annoying. like ya know????#[said with the knowledge i need you to be soooo normal about how you interpret this entire piece and also these tags]
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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im so fucking infuriated at the state of the world. is there no compassion left in anyones hearts. marcellus was murdered by the court for a crime he provably did not commit. so many people called in that they cut off the number, so many people signed, called in, faxed in, sent emails, and no one in this fucked up system even cared. im so angry and distraught. what a miserable fucking world.
#kitty purrs#death#ask to tag#antiblackness#im just sitting here crying ive been keeping up with it the whole time#rest in power marcellus williams.#sorry for turning reblogs off this post was stressing me tf out bc i didnt expect it to get 1k overnight
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Part 3
[1][2][4]
And he missed the mark. Sometimes something that works well for one person doesn’t really fit right for another. Where Donnie feels more comfortable categorizing and ordering things into understandable data, Raph feels more relaxed when he can step away from mountains of text or numbers and simply be.
Perhaps there is a way to meet in the middle?
#rottmnt#rise donnie#rise raph#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt comic#inspired by me and my best friend#they make spreadsheets for fun where I get stressed just thinking about it
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congrats to these lovely folks!
#pearlescentmoon#smajor#bekyamon#fwhip#mcc#mcyt#normally watching ANYTHING competitive stresses me the heck out#but i started watching scott's pov around halfway through i think#and the team's energy was just so generally relaxed and they were having a good time#and it was really nice!! i actually was able to stick around without getting worn out! i had fun!!#also it seems like this mcc was just a better time generally for scott? and that makes me really happy
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#this is pride to me#flockintogether#art#chart#yesterday we threw a pride celebration for our lil rural yeehaw city#bout half a thousand showed up for the queer fun downtown :)#we had some mom and dad volunteers who were there to be. idk. proud moms and dads basically lol (and to block protesters if any showed up)#the kinda moms/pops that go to college campuses with cheers and hugs for stressed students#i get a lil misty eyed thinkin about the grown ass dudes who use their Good Old Boy status to be affirming and supportive (and protective)#of other ppl in the community#so whatever part of the community u r in. or if you're just a Real Good Ally or w/e#if you are showing up for your people - thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. 1000 thank u's#one of the best parts abt bein on this planet is when we get to enjoy one another's company and lift each other up
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"I got my sin and you got your sorrow They're born from the din and come out at night"
alt versions under the cut!!
#yipeee I'm slowly getting used to csp#my favourite guys#sorry i was gone for so long i was close-to-burnout stressed and i just lose all abilities when im stressed so :(#what abilities? all abilities#also i drew a background?? witchcraft#this took me so long you have no idea#anyway#my art#malevolent#fanart#art#blindfaith#blind faith#oscar malevolent#arthur lester#masked
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idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.
#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers#riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves#gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay.#and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz.#even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could.#also#the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him#anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much#especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way#while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate)#i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe#this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would.#but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me#idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping 😭#sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired
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Erm, what the flip guys
#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fnafsb#fnaf moon#I was gonna post this earlier today but I went out after work#I’m so sleepy but that isn’t really new information#I’ve also been incredibly stressed out I can’t even BEGIN to explain wallahi#this is just an outfit I have in my closet btw#shoutout to my brother for getting it for me#okay i love you bye
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Max Verstappen and Gianpiero Lambiase's radio messages between Lap 27 - 33
LAP 27 ; Hulk spins and brings VSC
Max: A lot of water coming now, mate. GP: Okay, let me know when you think it's extremes. That's all I need to know, mate.
LAP 28 ; (Pia, Alo, Bea, Ham, Sai and Per pits)
GP: So, Max we have– safety car deployed. Safety car deployed. Dash positive, dash positive. GP: Max, tyres? Max: Does it keep raining or not? Now it's extreme. GP: We have this rain only for another 4 minutes, Max. Max: Okay! fuck. And after that, it's dry or no rain? ..... if it's only for 4 minutes, I will stay out. Max: You need to advise with the radar. I don't know that. GP: Yeah, don't worry Max. Just chatting there. I will let you know. GP: You still happy with the flap? Max: yeah. GP: VSC ending, Max. VSC ending. Max: Fuck, it's a lot of water but..
LAP 29 ; End of the VSC then the session green flagged (Nor, Rus, Tsu and Law pits)
Max: I will just try a lap. GP: stay out recharge off. Just be very careful please, Max. Very careful. (..) GP: So Max, Russell and Norris have pitted for inters. They are behind you. you are effective P2 on track. Just keep it on track mate. Keep it on track.
LAP 30 ; Safety car deployed because of the heavy rain
GP: Ocon ahead 41. All good, just keep it on track. Max: Mate! this is a red. It needs to be a red. GP: Ok safety car deployed, Max. Safetry car deployed. Dash positive, Dash positive. (..) GP: All drivers have said exactly the same thing, Max. I've got no idea what's going on! Max: yeah, it's too dangerous this. GP: just stay out..
LAP 31
GP: Safety car is at turn 4, Max. Turn 4. Max: Yeah the track is filling up with water like massive rivers. This is undrivable. GP: Well, we didn't qualify yesterday in conditions better than this, so I'm not sure what's going on, Max, but the safety car is picking up at turn 5. GP: we're expecting another h– gp ded
LAP 32 ; Colapinto Crashes and brings a red flag
Max: My tyres are just like a boat.
LAP 33
Max: We go again to the pits, yeah? GP: Yep. Max: Even at 70, the pits, I can't see where I'm going. GP: Yeah, we're expecting another very heavy shower in about 5 to 10 minutes. Max: The track is already completely soaked, so it's going to be a long wait. Max: I think I can jump out, yeah? GP: Yeah, I think you can jump out very quickly, Max.
#just want to point out that max was the one who wanted to stay out moment before both of lando n george pitted#gp even asked him what tyres he wanted they were thinking to get the wet tyres bc i think yuki liam n checo all were on wets#*me stressed af* max at lap 32: 'my tyres r just like a boat 🤌'#nerd posting#max verstappen#gianpiero lambiase#my post
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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.
the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.
like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.
but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.
so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.
i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?
but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?
sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?
and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.
nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.
the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!
and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#i hope it is clear here that i actually very much care about equatorial countries#and that's part of what makes me so angry bc im like. climate refugees exist.#they've existed for a while!!!#and the reply is almost always ''should have thought about that before living on an island"#like fuck dude. do you need to like how people vote before ur like#your entire house shouldn't burn down each summer????#so many of these people make it their life to mock california that they think it's FUNNY#and im like. girl you should be fucking trembling. TEXAS??? ARE YOU LISTENING??#this is one of those times that like. i need to stress how fucking stupid it would be#to let trump win. bc he could have “reached across the aisle.” covid could have been#a MASSIVE commercial success. he has such a huge and bigoted and brainwashed following.#literally just a PR campaign called COWBOY UP and it's pictures of cowboys in bandanas#trump reinvisioned as the lone ranger fighting for the american people against covid. EASY SELL#and instead. companies bought him. it became political. it was not ''oh shit this is 1 enemy let's all be human''#it was ''you deserve to die.''#climate change should be GLOBAL. it should be like ''yeah i hate u but. we do all live here''#i don't have to LIKE my group members to do well on a team project bc we are ALL getting graded.#is that simple enough of an under-explaination lol
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ENERGETIC ⚡️
you make me feel so high
#atsuoikage#haikyuu#oikawa tooru#kageyama tobio#miya atsumu#oikage#atsuoi#haikyuu!!#they are not any specific member i just chose based on shot composition and vibes#so pls dont come at me saying u think so and so should be X member instead of Y member#I just want the vibes of them being on a competition show like p101 and then debuting together bc i think them being the JP members tgt#would be very sweet and help bridge some animosity or rival tension that exists like they are competing but also#they feel solace in eos presence being from same culture same language etc#tobio looooooves oikawa HAHA hes sooo starry eyed over him... tobio calling oikawa hyung im gonna kill myself#atsumu and oikawa get close maybe after iwaizumi gets eliminated maybe earlier/midway in the show? bc tsumu understands what it feels like#to suddenly pursue ur dream alone.. samu maybe trained with tsumu at same company but quit before they even enrolled on the show#atsumu being the mediator whenever oikage bicker LOL#oikawa being stressed af and snapping at tobio and tobio is so sad tsumu is like there there... ill go talk to oikawa hell come around itok#ats comforting oikw like telling him to ignore the netizen / bad edit etc and calming him down slowly and getting oikw to apologize to tobio#also tobio crawling into oikawas bed in the dorms to sleep with him at night and oikawa wants to complain but likes cuddling... deep downLOL
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"WEEZER BLUE!!! 💙💙💙"
Just a normal weezer meme, there is nothing wrong.
#Classes made me stressed so I impulsively drew this LMAOAOAOAOAO#No these designs arent final i just wanted to draw something#early post cuz I'm very hyper and I need to get this energy out of my system#WHY AM I SO FUCKING HYPER HELP MEEEEEEE WAHHHHHHHHHHH#(silently hoping someone would notice the little details and hints i put in here hhhhhh)#Decaying Deputy AU#undertale yellow#undertale yellow fanart#undertale yellow au#undertale yellow starlo#undertale yellow martlet#undertale yellow dalv#undertale yellow ceroba#uty#uty fanart#uty au#uty starlo#uty martlet#uty dalv#uty ceroba#starlo#martlet#dalv#ceroba#ceroba ketsukane#LM art#artists on tumblr
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